Well I stayed away from this blog as long as I could. Away from thoughts of her & all the excitement of those feelings for her.

It didn’t work. She may no longer be on my mind every waking hour but she manages to remain in my thoughts last thing before sleeping. Virtually every night. How does she do that to me after so long?

Needless to say we have been in touch from time to time. But our last chat was the most distressing – she told me she has gotten engaged. A whirlwind romance it seems. Despite there being a recent stumble in their relationship when she contacted me for a sexting session. Desperate measures as her boyfriend (now FiancĂ©) had been working all hours & she wasn’t “getting enough”.

Well things must have obviously improved since then. She was so sorry but she was getting married to him I’m 2015.

I asked her what she was so sorry about & told her not to be so silly. I wished her all the best. She does after all deserve the security she so badly needs in a resident male for her children’s sake at the very least.

What more could I say? Can I say?

My feelings are so mixed. Gutted was the initial feeling. The thought we will never be able to meet again. But also happiness for her having achieved what she so desperately needed & which I could not provide.

Be well my darling Shell x

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Detached retina

Ok some good news at last. I’m back to work next week…

I’ve been off work since that dreadful Friday 13th April when the optician told me I’d need more than just glasses. It all kicked off that day – I was in hospital by 3pm & then a specialist eye hospital the following day for an emergency eye op.

Three operations & four months later the retina has successfully been re-attached.

I must admit with my poor memory I’ll find it very hard to get back into the swing at work. It’s quite frightening really.

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Horny little devil

I sleep. I dream. I wake up with an almighty erection. What gives? Who was I dreaming about? Yeah it could only be one girl & now she’s taken….

I read today that a girl is most likely to have an affair when she’s ovulating. Makes me wish I knew Shell’s cycle….but it explains why she comes onto me sometimes – she admitted once that she’s at her horniest one week in the month & that most likely coincides with what I’ve read.

I met my Brother on a rare trip to the UK last week & I finally got some answers about his affairs with my Wife. Yep she wanted to leave me but he refused her. Quite clearly she’d be with him now if he’d gone through with it.

It’s a horrible feeling being second choice & only so she can have some relative security in her future (money wise) – if I die now she gets the house paid plus a lump sum & a widow’s pension. Plus it explains her avoiding arguments & letting things ride without the usual nagging. I can’t see it being guilt.

Gutted. Shell I need to see you xx

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What is normal?

I suppose it’s life without surprises, upsets, unwanted changes, boredom…

I’ve been in this situation a while now & I’m not enjoying it.

I preferred the day when shell texted me out of the blue “I just got out the shower and can only think of u licking inbetween my legs xxx “.

Mind blowing sex is all I can think about & she’s the one to do it. Believe me I know.

Whether I’m up to it health wise I dunno but she could always ride me again. mmmmm I’m nearly there just imagining it.

What a pity she has another man now but I know she’s frustrated coz she admitted recently she wasn’t getting enough.

Oh my fantasies are so good right now…

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Time doesn’t heal

Another eye op this week because the last two didn’t work.

Depression overcame me & I got pissed with friends but on my way home I was overcome wish a sudden rush of pain – I missed Shell so much I texted her & told her.

She confirmed what I suggested – that time doesn’t heal – my feelings for her are just as raw as they were last April…….its been 15 months & it seems like yesterday. I still love her dearly & she knows that.

At least she knows how I feel & empathises with me.

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I’m away with my Wife celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this week.

But how two-faced can you get? All I can think about is getting sexed up with Shell. Her on top so she can get her orgasm. Or if this fails her wrapping her legs around my neck & bringing herself off on my tongue.

I wanna taste her juices again.

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Thursday 7th June 2012 midday & out of the blue I get a text from Shell :- “I just got out the shower & can only think of u licking inbetween my legs xxx”.

I was blown away because she has shown little or no interest in me since Valentines Day plus the fact she has a partner with whom she is happy so what gives?

I admit whilst I was totally up for some sexting fun I was also so confused that I did not rise to the bait – the first time I’ve ever refused Shell.

I was more concerned with why she was asking me – surely she prefers sexting with her partner? Why me? Why now?

In any case I blew the chance of a hot sexting session with her. By the time I’d recovered the moment (& my hard on) had gone & it’s now been two days since she contacted me so perhaps it was just a small chink in her armour – I know she is very highly sexed & had possibly been rejected by lover (she has already told me he works all hours so her relationship may have been suffering as a result)….

So maybe that’s the reason she contacted me – after all she knows full well how I still feel about her despite her having moved on & maybe she was exploiting my feelings. After all if I’m being honest I still have the hots for her…badly.

What a mind job !!!

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