SSDD part 2

Well there’s always a reason isn’t there? Of course there is.

There I was thinking why had she contacted me after all this time being silent? Especially as she had committed herself to this other guy, was engaged & planned to marry in 2015?

I’d suggested she should really be looking to him for her sexual fantasy needs & desires but whilst everything was “fine” with him only I could satisfy her Dark Side. Who am I to argue?

However now the truth be told. Everything is definitely not right between them. They fell out & now it seems their age difference is an issue. I know he’s younger than her…. I thought that was our issue too. I’m 52 & she’s just 37.

But that explains why she’s back in touch. It wasn’t my magnetic personality after all…..;-)

At least I’m still capable of pushing her buttons & turning her on. Boy she’s a dirty cow with a seemingly endless thirst for fantasy sex. Now if I could turn all that hunger into reality I’d be a very happy man….mmmm the thought of hardcore sex without limits makes me so horny.

She brings out my dark lusty taboo side too. I just can’t describe what I’d do to her. A sort of really heavy Fifty Shades Of Grey I guess.

Fifty Shades Of Black anyone?

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Encore Encore!!

She’s done it to me again!

Saturday 8th December. Afternoon. About 3.40pm. Text message says “I’m sat here thinking about u with no knickers on Xx”. Next one “my fingers r wet Xx”. Then “I’ve bin waiting for u to grab me pull my knickers down and take me down some back alley Xxx”.

I was defrosting the freezer but how do you ignore that?

The answer is I didn’t. I couldn’t resist that hot steamy sexting with her all over again. All afternoon. All night in fact. Way past midnight. Thankfully it was a weekend. I slept late into Sunday as a result then a repeat performance all Sunday evening. No doubt her horniest period of the month had forced her into contacting me again.

Apparently I provide all the dirtiest taboo sex fantasies her boyfriend cannot. “U make me come every time”. “I masturbate over you and that fantasy all the time Xxx”. That’s the one where I take her forcefully against her will. Dangerous game. But I can’t say no to her.

She wants me to come visit Wednesday lunch & play out these fantasies for real. So dirty. So tempting. Can I believe her this time? On her previous performance, no. She has always had cold feet.

Dirty rough sex – so appealing….dirty slutty girl. Mmmmmm.

Like I said this is a dangerous game ….

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Well I stayed away from this blog as long as I could. Away from thoughts of her & all the excitement of those feelings for her.

It didn’t work. She may no longer be on my mind every waking hour but she manages to remain in my thoughts last thing before sleeping. Virtually every night. How does she do that to me after so long?

Needless to say we have been in touch from time to time. But our last chat was the most distressing – she told me she has gotten engaged. A whirlwind romance it seems. Despite there being a recent stumble in their relationship when she contacted me for a sexting session. Desperate measures as her boyfriend (now FiancĂ©) had been working all hours & she wasn’t “getting enough”.

Well things must have obviously improved since then. She was so sorry but she was getting married to him I’m 2015.

I asked her what she was so sorry about & told her not to be so silly. I wished her all the best. She does after all deserve the security she so badly needs in a resident male for her children’s sake at the very least.

What more could I say? Can I say?

My feelings are so mixed. Gutted was the initial feeling. The thought we will never be able to meet again. But also happiness for her having achieved what she so desperately needed & which I could not provide.

Be well my darling Shell x

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Detached retina

Ok some good news at last. I’m back to work next week…

I’ve been off work since that dreadful Friday 13th April when the optician told me I’d need more than just glasses. It all kicked off that day – I was in hospital by 3pm & then a specialist eye hospital the following day for an emergency eye op.

Three operations & four months later the retina has successfully been re-attached.

I must admit with my poor memory I’ll find it very hard to get back into the swing at work. It’s quite frightening really.

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Horny little devil

I sleep. I dream. I wake up with an almighty erection. What gives? Who was I dreaming about? Yeah it could only be one girl & now she’s taken….

I read today that a girl is most likely to have an affair when she’s ovulating. Makes me wish I knew Shell’s cycle….but it explains why she comes onto me sometimes – she admitted once that she’s at her horniest one week in the month & that most likely coincides with what I’ve read.

I met my Brother on a rare trip to the UK last week & I finally got some answers about his affairs with my Wife. Yep she wanted to leave me but he refused her. Quite clearly she’d be with him now if he’d gone through with it.

It’s a horrible feeling being second choice & only so she can have some relative security in her future (money wise) – if I die now she gets the house paid plus a lump sum & a widow’s pension. Plus it explains her avoiding arguments & letting things ride without the usual nagging. I can’t see it being guilt.

Gutted. Shell I need to see you xx

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What is normal?

I suppose it’s life without surprises, upsets, unwanted changes, boredom…

I’ve been in this situation a while now & I’m not enjoying it.

I preferred the day when shell texted me out of the blue “I just got out the shower and can only think of u licking inbetween my legs xxx “.

Mind blowing sex is all I can think about & she’s the one to do it. Believe me I know.

Whether I’m up to it health wise I dunno but she could always ride me again. mmmmm I’m nearly there just imagining it.

What a pity she has another man now but I know she’s frustrated coz she admitted recently she wasn’t getting enough.

Oh my fantasies are so good right now…

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Time doesn’t heal

Another eye op this week because the last two didn’t work.

Depression overcame me & I got pissed with friends but on my way home I was overcome wish a sudden rush of pain – I missed Shell so much I texted her & told her.

She confirmed what I suggested – that time doesn’t heal – my feelings for her are just as raw as they were last April…….its been 15 months & it seems like yesterday. I still love her dearly & she knows that.

At least she knows how I feel & empathises with me.

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