Well it’s been weeks since Shell broke things off & I was doing so well until I saw a works email fro her to a colleague a few days ago. It stirred up all my old feelings for her but I got to thinking what WERE my feelings for her?
When I heard her the first time in her office – “loud”
When I saw her the first time – “she’s beautiful (but too young for me)”
When I spoke to her the first time – “sex” – I guess I lusted for her.
When we got to know each other a bit better at her work – “she’s gorgeous but way outta my league”
When she told me she was 35 with two kids – “relief”. She is actually far more attractive to me.
When I left her workplace – “regret” – she actually took time out to give me a homemade leaving card (which I still have).
When she contacted me by text in July 2009 – “elation”. I was on a high because she’d taken the trouble to find me.
When I got to know her better during 2009 – “respect. yearning (to meet her)”.
She once texted me during my Xmas 2009 works do, saying she was starkers in her bath. The first time I’ve had a hard on in front of my mates at the pub. They knew who it was.
it was really on & off with her regretting for the most part having contacted me because I’m married.
When she went back to her Ex in mid-2010 – “heartache”
As time went on she lost touch but I still bought her some Pandora jewellery as a Christmas present which I think she still appreciates.
When she got back in touch April 2011 – “disbelief”
When we first made love – “disbelief” how could she even fancy me?
When we got to know each other more- “love” who could fail to fall for her beauty, her body, her gorgeous eyes? I was smitten.
The rest is history. As before she regretted what she’d done. I’m married. Sacrilege. But my feelings for her were so intense by now I was pressuring her. Into carrying on with me. Stay there. Please . I can’t bear to be without you etc. Didn’t work. When she snapped & told me not to contact her at all I was distraught (but I didn’t tell her that).
What are my feelings for Shell now? Well I think they’ve gone full circle. I’m back at the lusting stage. I know how good she is in bed & I want more. She’s a true wildcat. I know I can’t keep up with her but she is so hot between the sheets I’m addicted.
I want more of her body & perhaps I’ll get more of her mind too if she comes back.